During 2021 I felt God say to me that I should ‘stop doing things in my own strength’. He was leading me to learn to rely on Him and His power. Recently the Holy Spirit has been ministering to me about this further through ‘abiding in the vine’, as apart from Him, “you can do nothing”.
The branch cannot bear fruit by itself
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5
All my life, I have been a hard worker. Whatever the task, I will give it my all. Although this is an excellent trait, I have found that it can tamper with my reliance on God and ultimately results in self-reliance. Doing things in my strength and not trusting in God.
In 2021 the Lord led me to set up a design consultancy, having had no previous desire to own or run a business. Since setting it up, being a busy mum of two small children has meant that I have hardly had time to promote my services other than to my immediate friends and family.
I had no idea, at the time, what God would teach me through this process. During this transition, I have found that it has been less about the ‘what’ and more about the ‘why’.
Do nothing from selfish ambition
During my career, my ability to perform and to ‘do well’ has seeped into my identity. Performance-based approval has only made me feel good about myself if I’m ‘doing well’. It has also led to extreme comparison and crippling competitiveness.
In PAYE employment, it was easy to impress my line manager by completing an incredible amount of work for one person. It was inevitable that I would compete against my colleagues. And it was always going to result in my identity linking to performance.
However, these things should not be so in the walk of a Christian. The word of God says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4.
My ‘driven’ nature was causing me to lean towards selfish ambition and conceit. I wanted to be seen to be better than others by being ‘the best’ in every area possible. My insatiable drive also led to severe stress and anxiety – as I wasn’t supposed to carry all these things.
Losing control
Over the past two years since starting my own business, the Lord has used this process to work these things out of me – the ‘why’.
One example is that I have realised how uncomfortable I can feel when I’m not in control. Having children has highlighted this fact to me. The reality is that none of us are in control, even though we sometimes think we are. God is the One who is in control. Part of my desire to perform was a desire to be in control.
The fact that I have yet to have the time to promote my services effectively has taken me far outside of my comfort zone. Having a marketing background means I have a significant understanding of the importance of promoting your business. Not being able to do this has been a very uncomfortable process.
My lack of promotion has helped me to see first-hand how God has miraculously provided for me at every junction of this journey. Even though I have had no strategy or time to implement anything, I have billed clients for work every month since starting Salty Creative.
At first, although this was happening, I would still feel a massive weight of responsibility. Even though God had provided the work for me, I would take on full responsibility when doing it. That’s when the Lord spoke to me so clearly from John 15:4-5.
Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness
I began to realise that if I believed the Word of God to be the truth, I would need to take God at His word. Literally. When His word says, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5, I needed to take it literally.
At the beginning of 2023, I decided that instead of going to the gym first thing in the morning and doing my devotion, I would start the day in God’s word. I wanted to abide in Him and to operate in His power. Coming to the point where I knew that doing it in my strength just led to striving and stress. I wanted to take His word seriously, believing that if I sought God first, His kingdom, and His righteousness, then “all these things will be added” to me (Matthew 6:33).
In addition to this, I also decided to cut down my working hours to four days instead of five. Allowing me time to fast, pray, fellowship and act upon what I believed God was saying to me. In seeking God’s kingdom first, I needed to create space to think more about how I could be a blessing to my local community. I was in a unique position to stop work from taking over, so the fact that it was at that time consuming me rang alarm bells.
Since then, I have seen God act in many supernatural ways in work and ministry.
Apart from Me you can do nothing
To give you a work-related example, one of my clients wanted to inform their brand refresh through a focus group. I haven’t had to develop a focus group since university, which was a VERY long time ago! When they made this request, my first thought went to utter panic.
When I reflected, I realised this was not a client I had ‘won’; God had miraculously provided them through a word-of-mouth recommendation. Therefore, if God had provided the work, He would give me the intelligence and the skill to deliver what was needed. So, I prayed. I asked God to help me develop it and allow me to do it well.
I couldn’t even tell you the thought process of developing the content. But I can tell you that the feedback I received was incredible when it was delivered. “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit”. I had far surpassed what I was naturally capable of, designing a successful session efficiently and yielding incredible results. Achieving what was not possible by my efforts.
I adopt this approach daily – or try to, at least. Starting my day by asking God to help me with whatever I am working on. I also ask that He will allow me to do what I need to do in the time that I have, no matter how short the time may be. And guess what? He does. I have started to produce better quality work in less time.
He it is that bears much fruit
I have also started to see ‘much fruit’ in my spiritual life and ministry through opportunities to pray for and evangelise to others. In 2022, I started feeling discouraged about the lack of opportunity to share the gospel with my non-Christian friends. Some are open to it, but some are incredibly closed, and I find this challenging.
In my time with God (abiding in Him), I spoke to God about my desire for opportunities to share Him with people who don’t know Him. Since the beginning of the year, I have had incredible opportunities to share His love with others and to pray for my local community.
Striving less at work and relying on the Lord means I can hear Him more clearly. So I can catch what the Holy Spirit says and act obediently.
Some of the fruit to come from this is; my participation in a parental prayer group at my children’s school, sharing God’s love with local people in need and getting opportunities to witness to friends from the past. None of which would have happened “apart from” God.
A work in progress
I am still trying to figure it out. But I wanted to share the journey I have been on, hoping it might help anyone going through a similar season. Even though I am continuously uncomfortable, I am learning to ‘let go and let God’ and, most importantly, to abide in Him. I have learnt that if I long for comfort in life, I will never grow in my walk with God and my faith in Him.
As I embrace letting go of my warped sense of control, what is God telling you to embrace or let go of in your current season?
God bless,
Sharon